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 Need a laugh?

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bladex110

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Posts : 93
Join date : 2011-03-24
Age : 22
Location : Washington, USA

PostSubject: Need a laugh?   Thu May 05, 2011 5:20 pm

We all need a laugh at some point, so why not now? Post jokes below!


I'll start with some nerd jokes.

What do you call two teath in a jar?
A two molar solution!

What do you call a joke about cobalt, radon and yttrium?
CoRnY!

Heisanburg was driving down the road when a cop pulls him over. "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" asked tue cop. Heisanburg then replied "No, but I know where I am!"
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Mysterym

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Join date : 2011-03-13
Age : 24
Location : Miami Florida

PostSubject: Re: Need a laugh?   Thu May 05, 2011 8:03 pm

So a bar of gold walk's into a bar and the bartender says
"Au get outta here!"

So a woman who recently got divorced find's a genie and is given three wishe's but whatever she wishes for her husband will be given ten times more.
So for her first wish she wishes to be rich and her husband is ten times richer, the second wish is she wants to be the most beautiful and loved person on earth so her husband is ten times more beautiful.
The genie then asks "And how about your last wish?" the women thought about it and replied "I'd like a mild heart attack."

This one is one my father told me a while back,
A man is in a bar tipsy and gos to the bartender and says "I bet you one hundred dollars i can piss in that cup from over here without spilling a drop." the bartender starts saying the guys crazy and can't do it so the guy starts peeing all over the place on the bartender the counter everything, so the bartender starts laughing saying "Your an idiot i knew you couldn't do it! Now you owe me a hundred bucks!" the drunk guy responded with "That's ok i bet the guy back there a thousand dollars i could pee all over you and you'd still smile and not get mad at me at all."

lol!
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Krakjen

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Join date : 2011-03-15
Age : 23
Location : Norway.

PostSubject: Re: Need a laugh?   Fri May 06, 2011 8:47 am

I must admit, I know very few jokes in English.

There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco, waiting.
Why? The sign said “must be 18 to enter”.
_

Two Hydrogen atoms were walking down the street when one of them trips and falls.
"Oh, I think I lost an electron!" Exclaims the one who fell,
to which the other replies, "Are you sure?"
The first atom answers, "I'm positive!"


And my friends favorite:
Your mom is so ugly, not even Fluorine will bond with her!


Does pick up lines count?

You'll be glucose and I'll be galactose and we'll make milk together.

HEHEHHEHEHE. ;D

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TRNC

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Join date : 2011-03-18

PostSubject: Re: Need a laugh?   Fri May 06, 2011 9:43 am

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."



A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

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